Rob Bell
I got the amazing opportunity to see Rob Bell speak this last week. I want to spend sometime writing about it but time does not allow it tonight. In the mean time, check out this article on him and the tour.
A moment
Friday, I went to a training on teaching about the Holocaust and Genocide. I was, I must admit, quite excited about this because I am without a doubt a nerd! I have been studying the German Holocaust or Shoa for the last 14 years. It started in college when I took an honors level history class about Nazi Germany and has been on going ever since.
In 2003, I was blessed to be to visit Auschwitz Birkenau with a friend and that day changed a lot of how I saw history. I can’t begin to put to words what it was like to tour the death/slavery camp in Poland, to put it in some sort of perspective the feeling of standing on the ground where millions of Jew stood before they met their brutal and senseless death.
So coming into the conference, I had an idea of what the day would entail. I knew we’d hear from some survivors and some professors, but I had no idea how much I would learn in such a short time. I literally took 9 pages of notes!! Typed thankfully, since we all know my handwriting leaves much to be desired. I could write pages about all I learned, about the depth of my new understanding but that is not really what is pounding in my brain right now.
The highlight of my day, without a doubt was hearing from the survivors: both told very different stories of their experience in the most organized destruction of a people group in world history. Now, I have been blessed to meet a Holocaust survivor before- on a flight landing in Salt Lake City. It was one of the most random experiences ever, and as all good random experiences due, it changed me and my understanding of the lasting impact of the Holocaust. Today was another one of those random experiences.
Midway through the day, a man who portrayed an unmistakable honor and confidence about himself, told the story of he and his wife both survivor the hell at Auschwitz and of how they were able to find each other after the liberation of the camps. Though his thick eastern European accent made him some what difficult to follow, Klaus Stern wove a tail of pain and suffering marked by pure determination. He wanted to clarify to us that the Russian liberation of Auschwitz was not actually a liberation at at, that most of the surviving Jews had been moved to other camps by the time the Russian soldiers found human skeletons walking around Birkenau. It was an amazing story and one he told quite simply and eloquently. Once he was finished he joined us for the next presentation of the conference. It wasn’t until a couple of minutes into the next presentation that I took notice of the situation. As I was busy typing a way, I had failed to noticed that Klaus Stern had sat down right next to me.
I sat there for several minutes, completely transfixed by the moment. I was sitting next to a man who had survived the unsurvivalbe. A man who’s story I try to tell every year to my students. A man who outlived a hell that most of us can’t wrap our minds around. I struggle to grasp it, it was like I was on over load, my brain and my heart seem to just stop. I’d like to say I am being dramatic for effect but I am not. That is how it felt, to say I was humbled would be an understatement. When my brain finally re-engaged I tried to continue my note taking, while noticing that this man who had outlived his nazi tormentors, was attentively listening to the same presentation on Death Camps that I was. I was even more humbled when at the end of the presentation he asked a question of the presenter. Klaus had lived it...and yet he wanted to know and understand more. After the presentation, I couldn’t help but thank him again for what he shared. We had a brief, but perspective changing exchange. I thanked him, and he thanked me for teaching the Holocaust and I said that the day was overwhelming, that I was learning so much more than my brain could handle. And he said “A German philosopher once said “ I know everything but I like to learn a little bit more’” He gave me a shy knowing smile as he said it and patted me on the shoulder as he turned to leave.
There are moments in our lives that can not be replaced, moments that change us, humbles us, frighten us and bring us to a new understanding of not only ourselves but the world we live in. That is what this was for me. What struck me was not only the resiliency of the human spirit to survive Auschwitz, but to have such a humble and teachable heart through out your life. This is the very least I can hope for myself. Thank you Klaus- for telling your story and for speaking truth to me in a simple random moment.
A brief update
My student who is from Haiti heard from her family and they are all safe (including her mother). Such a blessing since not everyone is getting such good news.
The New Year
I have had a couple of blogs running around my head since the end of December, witty and insightful diatribes about life and what I have learned in the last year. And yet, here I sit simply brain dumping on to the internet. No real purpose, no great insight, just a jumble of my thoughts on this blustery January night.
I wonder if you ever go through down times. I do...not many, because to be honest my life basically rocks! I am blessed beyond all measure-not by the things I have but by the love and friendship that surrounds me everyday. I live in a modest little house with two crazy dogs and an even crazier mexican woman and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have a great job, that not only pays the bills but challenges me everyday. And even with all that there are times when my heart is heavy. I can't always explain it, and even if I could I am not sure I would.
I use to feel very guilty when these times would come. I would hear scripture in my head, "This is the day the has made! Rejoice and be glad in it!" and I would tell myself to buck up- quit being a baby and rejoice. I am quite sure that is the type of rejoicing God is looking for...or maybe not. I think we all go through these times, for any number of reasons, and I am not completely sure the reasons matter. What matters is that we all have them, and it is okay. I am reminded right now of Ecclesiastes 3 ..."There is a time for everything...a time to tear and a time to mend...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
As I reflect on these things I can't help but think of all the suffering in Haiti, all the pain and struggle those people and their families are now facing. It is beyond what I can imagine. I have no doubt that God aches for them, as we all should. Would it be proper to say to those people "This is the day the Lord has made..." I don't think so, and please don't think I am at all equating my heavy heart with the immense lost suffered in Haiti this week. Not at all, more I am taken by the idea that there are just times in life when things are hard, when things hurt, when pain feels more real than anything else. And as sad as it is, there is a time for all of this.
One of my students, who I have become close with, is from Haiti. Her mom is still there and she hasn't heard from her yet. It is gut wrenching to watch her each day- she is suffering in a way I will never understand. I have offered to help- which is truly meaningless and each day she says all she can do is wait. How do you encourage someone in that situation? What words will make it all somehow better? No words...no words will take her pain away, no discussion of hope and the afterlife will ease what I can only imagine is the searing pain she feels every waking moment.
I would love to end this with some grand insight or encouraging word, but I can't. The truth is, sometimes things suck. Sometimes we hurt, sometimes the world falls apart both literally and figuratively and when we struggle through those times, there are no words that can help. The only encouraging aspect of all of this is the truth that for everything there is a season...
Christmas Traditions
Tis the season for tradition. Many families have a set of Christmas traditions that they repeat every year- from stockings, to Santa, to reading the biblical account of Jesus' birth. We develop these yearly ceremonies to not only celebrate the holidays, but to bind our families collective memories and hearts.
Growing up in Alaska, we didn't have our extended family anywhere near and our Christmas traditions developed accordingly. Christmas morning was opening presents in our pajamas and the rest of the day was spent relaxing and playing with the new stuff we got. We didn't have many set traditions so as I have grown into adulthood I have struggled to understand why people are so set on their traditions. Not only that, as a function of being a child raised in a blended family, my understanding of family tends to be far different from the average person. For me, my brothers are my family, regardless if we shared the same genetics or not. They are my family because we share a common (or not so common as it were) history, a bond forged through pen fights, wrestling, avoiding chores and lots of laughter. So my traditions were directly related to spending time with my family for Christmas- those people who I share a common life, history, story, or bond with.
Every December I look forward to my time spent with my family- those people whom I share my life with- and yes
without a doubt that includes those lucky few with whom I share a genetic similarity, but it also includes my friends. My friends are as much family to me as my cousins, aunts, mom or dad. So a Christmas without them seems to be empty. So this year I have been blessed to be able to establish some actual traditions with these people.
So my new- grown up traditions are as follows:
Flynn Family Thanksgiving (thanks Sarah) - Christmas attire for the photo, food, wine and amazing friends.
Cookie day (thanks Sully)- a day of laughter, spent with great friends making more cookies than you can imagine and drinking more wine than we should.
The Lights at the Bontanical Garden in Bellevue (thanks Church's) - an amazing evening of lights mixed with some "special" Starbucks!
Christmas in Colorado (now a tradition)- time with family, laughing, opening presents, playing dutch blitz, long talks with my brother, watching You Tube videos with my nephews and lots and lots of snuggles from the cutest kids around!
Christmas Eve Sleepover at the Anderson's (one of my oldest traditions- dating back to 98!)- yummy snacks and presents on Christmas eve, early morning stockings and egg nog waffles.
As I review this list I can say that the best part of each of these traditions is easy to see- time with my loved ones. I know in this season of over booked schedules and over spent bank accounts it is easy to miss the true blessing of this time of year. We must remember that all of the shopping, cooking and/or baking is meant to create one thing- time - time with those you love and who, by the grace of God, love you.
I hope that this season finds you blessed beyond all measure, not by gifts, but by the love of your family - no matter how you define it!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why I love Thanksgiving more than Christmas
Yes I said it...I love Thanksgiving more than Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of celebrating the birth of my Savior (which as far as I understand did not happen on December 25) but let's be honest, Christmas is not about Jesus. It is about gifts and parties and making our family feel bad (wait...is that just in my family??)
We like to think if we try really hard we can make Christmas about Jesus, which might be true, but doing so would mean not giving gifts to our loved ones but to people we don't like or who don't like us (Matt 5:43-48). It would mean spending the day serving people in need, not giving over priced electronics to ungrateful children. And to be honest I am not sure most of us are really ready to do that. Most of us sadly cannot be bothered to donate gifts to needy families because we have other places to spend our money. To me this would be making Christmas about Jesus. Instead the holiday is about spending more money than we should on things that we think others want and not need (we need food, water, and shelter- not an Ipod touch or a blue ray player). I don't want to sound as if I don't adore the needless gadget (because I do!!) but I also am under no illusion that I NEED these things. My point is Christmas becomes this month of over stimulation and over spending that leads to a stressed out gathering of family. One in which you awkwardly exchange candles or body soap with the cousin who you really don't know or care for, but feel obligated to bring something for...happy birthday Jesus!
It may just be my family but there is always so much pressure surrounding Christmas, not just about gift giving, but about who we see, when we see them, and balancing that can be overwhelming. There are parts of Christmas I do enjoy, family gatherings that are easy and not stressful, watching the little ones open gifts, my brothers eggnog waffles ...these are the best parts! But what makes Thanksgiving so much better in my mind is that it is a day that is about eating and being thankful! No gifts, no obligations, just food...yummy yummy food and an awareness of how lucky we all really are! It is a day where we spend time just being with each other, laughing, telling stories, eating, and relaxing, all with an attitude of gratefulness.
I think by its very nature, Thanksgiving is more of Christian holiday than Christmas. It is the holiday that forces us to reflect on what we have and take a posture of thankfulness. We do not worry about what we are getting or giving, our main focus is enjoying a meal with those we love and reflecting on the blessings in our lives. And if we are really honest, our blessings are not things, not our houses, cars, tvs or video game collections. Our blessing are those people we are surrounded by- our loved ones. I hope as we take the big turn into the madness of the Christmas season, we can all remember that we are so very blessed not by what we have but by who we have.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!